Maintaining Peace in the Home | Pele Yoetz | Hachzek Day 79
Alright, how are you? Today is Rush Chodesh El. Today's Thursday, and we're continuing in the section of Chamov Vichamois of respecting one's in-laws. Says the Palaeoites, you know, there used to be a time when it was pretty common for the woman to for a girl to get married when she was already like twelve years old. And so she would really grow up in her husband's home. And so it would be incumbent upon the husband to teach her and to guide her in the proper ways, because he would generally be older. It's upon the husband to guide his wife of shetisbo, and to impress upon her strongly the importance of being honored, of respecting the importance of respecting one's parents, the imrayam file. And if he sees that his wife begins to slight their honor. So even if she has a just reason for doing so, he should protest. And then on the side, he should in private speak to his wife, to appease her, and to um maintain the peace in the home. Okay. So Peleos now says, well, it's important. Yes, we've been discussing the burns of a son respecting his in-laws and the daughter respecting her in-laws, but now he's saying it's it's important for the parents not to incite difficulties as well. It's known that the older somebody is, the more knowledgeable they get. Therefore, if it happens that the daughter-in-law is an evil woman, right? So then the olders, the parents-in-law, they have to not incite her. Um rather they should guide her in a proper way, with pleasantness and with soft words, something that will resonate with her. They shouldn't over uh put their burdens on her with needs and responsibilities. And should they should act if she should if she acts improperly towards them, the in-laws should rebuke her only in a private way, in a way that's loving. They shouldn't talk about her. In-laws should never talk about their sons or daughters-in-laws and to others. That's a terrible thing, right in a in a negative way. Parents should always praise the children and especially the in-law children in front of other people. Certainly, there should be no arguments or quarreling with the parents. Certainly, they have to be so careful not to speak bad. Parents should never speak bad to their their son about their daughter-in-law, because that could make the son now, he the daughter Shema, uh his wife, Shema Khanistina, believe of Yavelus knowing so it could lead to hatred. If they cause this, Share Shemikodusha, Tiva Kodishbarhu, Mach Galamaim, right? We now could wants Shalom in the home to be maintained so much that he's willing to have his own name erased with Shalom Bainishto to maintain Shalom by Tov She is Bene Ishleishto. It would be better for the father and the mother to endure a thousand evils than to cause uh machlekis between a man and his wife. It requires greater understanding and intellect for a father and mother to conduct themselves properly and to to really understand their sons and their daughter-in-laws. So that way their marriages will flourish in harmony that feel m yeesh beza birkure vire devarim. And even if there's some unavoidable grievances that come up, complaints, etc. These things it shouldn't be taken out of context, it shouldn't be exposed, shouldn't become like a whole public family um feud. What does that accomplish that have this family feud? It accomplishes absolutely nothing. It just ends up um being bad for all parties, and it leads to gossip, bad reputations, etc. I've already offered a suggestion, says the Peleotes, that if relatives they can't control themselves and they can't live with peace and harmony, says the Peleotes that Toyba Yosh Lay Shriatov, they shouldn't live in the same place. Avraman Lot did that. Zuhi Chayem, this will actually save them and will give them life. I was thinking, you know, just as we're coming into El, just Muser and some ideas for for El. You know, the whole year we've been spending so much time with the things that we want and in matters of this world, right? Which isn't which is obviously important matters of this world, but I'm talking about things that are really below, beneath our dignity, right? That like Hassel tells that we don't sin unless a spirit of folly enters into us. And sometimes we are so close, right? So close to those sins that we become accustomed to to doing. And we're so used to saying gossip, saying lush and our looking where we shouldn't, etc. Whatever it is. But sometimes the best relationship is to separate, and is we have to just separate. See, I'm I'm above that. I'm I'm really a Nishama, I'm really a soul. All these things are are are beneath me to be acting that way. And it could be that period. I'm just bringing this out. That period, that that separation will ultimately will be what's Hanola and what's the best thing for us. And as we get closer and closer through the journey of El Rash Shana, Sarasmitshu, and finally Mkippur, or Fnaya Fnim, and the Holy of Holies, but there's nothing else but us and a Kurish Barakho, and that's it. Separate everything else and the Mitsashem. That will that will be uh um a tremendous chzak for all of us, wishing you all the best, and uh an exceptional journey up ahead on this journey through Ell and Rashana and the Kippur and Mitsashem. Everyone should be Zoecha to uh Siva Khassima Taylor, all the best.
